Ben & Allyson

Still not really updating, but you have to listen to this song!

2011-11-22T12:12:00.001-08:00

So, I realize that I haven't posted for a while and this is really just a cop-out but oh well... I love Mika and this song is my [not-so-]new obsession. It's such a great song for a dance party - preferably one late at night in the kitchen, or whenever you happen to be cleaning... Turn. it. up. LOUD!! :)

Oh, one more thing - I'm completely in love with the different wall papers about halfway through the video. :)

Get ready for some laughs!

2011-09-01T13:01:00.001-07:00

Have you heard of Kid History? I stumbled across these little gems some time ago, but then forgot about them. When I found them a second time I figured I had to share them.

The first time I saw them I laughed so hard tears were streaming down my face! :)

PS - you should enlarge the videos for the full effect.

What do you think - are these fantastic or what?!

Ukrainian Adventures part 2 - Holy Water

2011-07-26T12:08:00.001-07:00

On our way home from the potato cellars in Stilske, Igor took us on another little adventure. Apparently there's a little spring of Holy Water in a big field where people picnic in the summers.

Lap number 5!

People go there to bottle their own drinking water from the icy fountain. While there, many people "take the plunge" and circle the submerged cross in the lower pool seven times, bending down to touch the foot of the cross on each lap. From what I understand, if you do at least seven laps, it will cure you of whatever might be ailing you (allergies, illness, etc.)

It was a hot day, so we all decided to give it a try, even though walking barefoot in the snow is the only thing that might be as cold.

It was too cold for Anne, so she played in the little trickle where people were filling their water bottles.

I was holding Mary and she loved splashing in the little waterfall on each lap, so we just kept going around and around.
I ended up doing my 7 laps and then 7 more with Meagan and a few more in between.

Ella even did a couple laps with us!

I was actually really enjoying it, but it took quite a while to thaw afterwards.

The first lap all you can think about is getting out.

If you make it to the second, your thoughts are the same and you start to wonder if you've gone mad.

At the third lap you start checking to see if your feet are bleeding - because the pain you're experiencing must be accompanied by copious amounts of blood!

As you round the bend on lap number four, things start looking brighter as all blood leaves your legs. Completely numb by laps five and six, you think it really isn't so bad and you could probably keep going for quite some time.

As you totter out after the seventh lap, you'll go through all the pain of your legs coming back to life, so if you make it that long, you may as well just stay in.... a few more laps won't hurt, but they will put off that awful tingly sensation.

Don't worry - I wasn't the only crazy one there. One guy went wading in nothing but his underwear! When someone does that you know they're going to do something great - you can't strip down to your skivvies and not put on some show for all the attention you've attracted. He did fun little tricks like underwater push-ups between his laps!

Just going in up to my knees is more than enough for me, thank you.

Ukrainian Adventures part 1 - Stilske cellars

2011-07-19T22:52:00.000-07:00

Last week we went on a couple little excursions out of Lviv. Together with our driver/bodyguard, Igor; Ella, Anne, Mary, Meagan and I decided to brave an hour's drive to find an "ancient settlement." It was located in a little village called Stilske that was positively charming. We saw people driving around in horse-drawn wagons and beautiful gardens, chickens on the side of the road, and people out walking their geese!

The tourist website it was listed on had a picture like this one, and gave this description: "We start our trip at 9 A.M and depart to the Stilske complex which is located near Mykolayiv in about 40 km from Lviv. That is definitely a unique place, as its' origin comes from VIII – middle XI centuries. Despite of the magnificence and historical value, this place isn't so popular among tourists. The capital of the Great (White) Croatia was located right in this area. The city was really huge at that time: fortified square came up to 250 ha, length of the arbor and defense walls – about 10 km. To compare, Kyiv of that time was only 9,8 ha in square. The difference is gigantic."

It made it sound like we were going to visit some ancient caves that people lived in centuries ago. Stilske was not easy to find, and after stopping for directions multiple times, we finally found it...

The "ancient settlement" was a bunch of root cellars cut in the side of the mountain where people (currently) store potatoes and other vegetables for the winter. So maybe they were caves that people lived in once upon a time, and finding a farming community's vegetable storage might have been a bit disappointing when we were expecting the former, but it was still pretty cool.

More pictures of Stilske....

The village

Gardens

The local church

Cool Houses

What's your type?

2011-07-16T07:11:00.003-07:00

Yesterday was hot. I mean, almost unbearably hot, and since we didn't have our driver we decided to stay home and do as little as possible, so as not to sweat any more than absolutely necessary. :)

Sitting inside like that led to some great discussions, one of which was nature vs. nurture and personality differences. We decided to take a personality test. Have you heard of Myers-Briggs? It's a really good personality test. We took the test here.

In one of my Child Development classes, we discussed the idea of Nature vs. Nurture in great detail. Personalities are all different and while some aspects are learned, others are most definitely inborn. Understanding them better helps us to better understand ourselves and in turn become better people. It's easier to see our weaknesses and work to improve them. It's also nice to see our strengths laid out in front of us. I also think that understanding the different personalities of our children can make us much better and more effective parents.

I don't believe that taking a test like this is or should be used as an excuse for doing (or not doing) certain things. Saying things like, "it's just how I am" or, "that's just my personality" is incredibly immature and irresponsible. However, I do think that it can be beneficial to learn and understand more about your "personality type."

My Myers-Briggs personality type is INFP - the Dreamer. A few descriptions of this type are here, here, and here. It's actually really interesting - I feel like it fits me almost to a T. However, I've definitely noticed other "learned characteristics" not on the list that have helped me ~~overcome~~ improve some of my weaknesses. Some of the lists are fun because they list some famous people - real and fictional - with the same personality type.

Just a couple from my list are: Homer, Mary (mother of Jesus), Shakespeare, Neil Diamond, and the one that excited me most (from the fictional list)... Anne of Green Gables! (ok, I am a little obsessed)

So, what's your personality type?

Shevchenkosky Grove

2011-07-11T09:27:00.001-07:00

On Saturday we went to this great little park called Shevchenkosky High. There are all sorts of old Ukrainian log cabins from the 1800's. They are absolutely charming and I couldn't help but think how fun it might be to live in one for a couple months in the summer. (Yes, I know it's not all romantic and there are definitely downsides to no electricity/plumbing, but I still think they're great!)

I did a whole post with pictures on my design blog here. Check it out!

As a side note, Meagan and I are reading Anne of Green Gables (my second time this year) and I just have to say how much I absolutely love those books! If you haven't read them, you most definitely should. Meagan was teasing me about how obsessed I was after reading them for the first time. Now we're not even done with the first book and she's already planning her trip to Prince Edward Island. :) (Thanks Becca for the recommendation!)

A little bit of Everything

2011-06-22T12:53:00.001-07:00

Lviv is truly amazing. There's so much to do and see here! Here are just a few of the things we've been up to.

Ballets at the Opera House

The Creation of the World and Act I of Swan Lake

When we left Swan Lake, Annie started dancing like a "swan princess" - ballerina arms and everything! :)

There's a market just a few blocks down the street from us.

The fruit and veggies are great:

I love the tubs of spices and spice blends - it smells so great!

The plucked chickens with the feet left on is a little odd, but what do you expect when there are whole pigs hanging up in the meat/dairy tent?

Down by Center we found a cute Book Bazaar. Now if I just spoke Ukrainian...

Igor (a friend from church who's also helping with the laundromat) brought us a huge box of strawberries from a local harvest... twice! They were absolutely delicious. The second time around we had fun squishing them all and making strawberry sorbet.

Remember those darling mini strawberries we got at the market? I ended up using them in a strawberry cake with a lemon glaze. Yum.

I love seeing all of the local talent at the souvenir bazaars.

The art is beautiful and some of the matryoshka dolls are positively amazing!

The hand-made textiles are stunning

I'm kind of a sucker of these hand carved wooden plates and boxes.

Along with all of the traditional tents for people to display their goods, there are also tarps laid out with all sorts of things for sale. You never know what treasures you might find. :)

Life in Lviv

2011-06-15T14:17:00.004-07:00

We've been in Lviv for almost a week now. It's been something of a whirlwind adventure getting here - I drove to Utah with Meagan and the girls and got to see my family for a couple days. Then I met back up with Meagan and Benj at the airport and we were off to Paris.

Sunset in Kiev

Paris was great, but I have to admit - I sometimes feel like it's a bit overrated. Especially when you look at the prices! But regardless, I had a great time there and thoroughly enjoyed seeing all of the incredible architecture and eating delicious food.

After Paris, we flew into Kiev for a day before continuing on to Lviv.

Before we got here, I was a little bit worried about where we'd live, what we would eat, where we would shop, etc. I don't know why I worried. This place is incredible!

Around the corner is a "Metro" - a huge Costco-like store with everything you could ever want or imagine. There is a whole aisle solely dedicated to noodles (this is especially great since Meagan and the girls like to eat them at least once a day)! What's really cool is that they sell small/regular sized packages, and two of these wrapped together, as well as huge bulk packages. It's the same way with cheese - normal sized blocks of cheese all the way up to cheese wheels roughly the size of a small tire! Half of Metro is dedicated to food, while the other half has clothes, kitchen equipment, toys, exercise equipment, you name it!

Today we went to a food bazaar. It was amazing - and it's only Wednesday! It gets really crazy on the weekends. There were long lines of tables with people selling all sorts of fruit and vegetables. On other side, there was a whole meat and dairy room with every animal body part you could need - and then some.

We bought some peas and the most adorable miniature strawberries I've ever seen! I can't wait to make something with them.

Between Metro and the bazaars, we're pretty much set for life.

We had a fun experience on Sunday. Since I was here last, Lviv now has it's own free-standing LDS meeting house - the first in Ukraine! The branch is pretty small and there were a few key people missing, so when we went to primary, there was only one other family there, and no teachers. We all jumped in - Benj taught a lesson, two-year-old Annie said the prayer, and I played the piano. (Actually it was an electric keyboard that they brought in for me!) :)

Summer Plans

2011-06-14T12:55:00.005-07:00

For those of you that don't already know, Ben and I have some pretty great summer plans this year. Ben was hired as a legal intern in San Francisco and I'm so proud of him. Internships for first year law students are like gold, so this is wonderful. He's learning a lot and really enjoying himself.

Before Ben got the internship, our friends - the Beckers - told us they were moving to Ukraine and starting a business. They invited us to come over with them and help out. We thought it would be fun and decided to go along... and then Ben got the internship. Since we had already accepted their offer to go to Ukraine with them and help out and Ben was going to be really busy with his internship, we decided that just I would go.

It was a hard decision, since that meant we'd be apart for about 2 1/2 months, but the opportunity was too incredible to pass up and with Skype, we thought we'd make it through. Ben will also be coming out to meet me at the end of the summer and we'll get to spend some time together in Europe before starting back into "real life."

I'm currently in Lviv, Ukraine and absolutely loving it! Honestly, this place is incredible! It has everything you could ever want or need! I can't believe how much it's changed since I was here last.

For photo highlights of Paris, check out my design blog!

2 Years!

2011-04-26T23:10:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, Ben and I celebrated our 2 year anniversary. It seems like just yesterday we were shivering outside the Salt Lake Temple, wondering what had happened to the beautiful spring weather we had been enjoying the week before... but not not really caring since we had just been sealed for time and all eternity.

Mondays are hard days for us. Ben goes to school early and I head off to work. Regardless of what time he gets home, he spends the rest of the night studying for finals, and I go straight to class from work. (I'm taking an Interior Architectural Drafting class on Monday nights this semester.) After 3 hours of class, I get home a little after 10 and fall straight into bed. when I saw that our anniversary fell on a Monday this year I was a little bummed. I knew that by the time I got home I would be too exhausted to do much more than say hello.

Well, Ben - being the wonderful, amazing husband that he is woke me up with breakfast in bed! When I finally got home, I was surprised with a beautiful bouquet of flowers, a card, and a clean room. As if that wasn't enough, at the last second, before I fell asleep, he pulled a little jewelry box out of nowhere. I was completely shocked! It was a beautiful necklace that Ben picked out all on his own! What a guy! I really have the best husband ever!

You know, it's really amazing to see how far we've come in these past two years. I would have struggled to believe that I could ever be more in love with my darling husband that on that cold April day, 2 years ago. But as we've grown as a couple, I know now that I love him so much more now than I could have ever imagined. It makes me excited for the rest of well, forever!

Merry Christmas!

2010-12-25T20:14:00.000-08:00

Merry Christmas everyone! This year has been full of adventures, to say the least. We've only been married for a year and a half, but we've already gone through a rather serious car accident, moved back and forth across the country (a number of times), and started graduate school!

For those of you that don't know, Ben and I are currently living with his parents in California. It's a party all the time here, because we're not the only ones living here - Darlene and Greg and their soon-to-be baby are living here as well! Ben just finished his first semester of Law School and he's absolutely loving it! Sometimes it's hard to talk to him because he's off in his own little "lawyer world" and analyzes everything with a lawyer perspective. :) I'm working part time as a mother's/teacher's helper and I absolutely love it! I'm also heading back to school in January to finish up my Interior Design degree.

We're enjoying this new phase in our lives and we're really excited to see where it takes us.

Love you all!

Nielsen Kitchen

2010-10-05T16:00:00.000-07:00

Since moving to California, I've done a lot of cleaning, organizing and painting. With Darlene's help, we've completely transformed the kitchen, giving it just a bit of an English Tea Room feel. Here are a couple pictures, but there are a lot more on my design blog. Enjoy!

I have one large wall space that I'm planning to put a plate collage on. Here's the catch - I want input on the designs. Click here and tell me what you think! Thanks a million! :)

Before

After

For more before and after pictures, click here.

Wake me up when September ends...

2010-09-17T21:26:00.009-07:00

Sorry I've been so neglectful lately. I can't believe I haven't updated in so long! It's been really busy, with family and parties almost every weekend. Also, I have to confess, I started a new Design blog, and I've been spending a little more time there lately.

So here's the condensed version of what's been happening lately:

With the help of a number of wonderful friends, Ben and I packed up our two bedroom apartment in Provo and moved to San Francisco. Now, before you go thinking "what fun! - they're living in the city!," let me inform you that we're not actually right in the city. We decided that it would be better to save some money and live with Ben's parents while he attends Law School. The funny thing is, that Greg and Darlene had that same thought, when Greg got a job in the city. So now we're re-living one of the shows from our childhood - Full House - and all living together under the same roof. I must say though, for roommates, the Swapps and the Nielsens are pretty awesome. (and no, I'm not just saying that because Darlene's sitting across from me on the sofa right now.) :)

Ben has successfully started Law School. He seems to be cut out for this stuff because he's doing so well, and loving his classes. I'm so proud of him! I'm looking for a job and planning to finish up school myself in January, as well as taking on the project of re-doing some of the rooms here at my in-law's home.

In other news, my awesome and gorgeous sister is in Jerusalem right now at the BYU Jerusalem Center! I'm so happy she gets to have this experience, even though I totally wish I could be there as well.

Camping!

2010-06-29T12:47:00.009-07:00

When you're prepared, camping can be one of the most incredible experiences - turning off technology, slowing down the pace of life, and discovering some of the most beautiful things nature has to offer. If unprepared however, you probably won't ever want to try it again.

Since we got married, I've wanted to take Ben out camping, but lack of necessities like a tent and sleeping bag prevented us a number of times. I have to say though, part of me wondered if this city boy I married would even be able to handle the great outdoors.

Well, we finally had our chance to go camping a couple weeks ago. We went down near Goblin Valley with 3 other couples and had an awesome desert camp-out. After breakfast and breaking camp Saturday morning, we went on a beautiful hike and even found a cave! Unfortunately, I completely forgot that I had my camera until we were on our hike, so I don't have pictures of our camp site or anything. :(

On our drive to and from the camp site, we listened to some Louis L'Amour short stories. It was fun walking around the desert pretending we were in one of his stories, braving the harsh winds and searching for a desert oasis.

Enjoy Life

2010-06-15T10:41:00.003-07:00

I recently ran across this blog post that totally made my day. The blog serves as just a little reminder to recognize all those great moments in life that we take for granted.

Why obsess over our appearance and weight? While I'm a firm believer that you should exercise and look your best, the key to it is looking YOUR best, not the photo-shopped-model-on-the-magazine-cover's best. Part of the wonderful blessing of having a body is getting to enjoy the pleasures of life. Enjoy that extra scoop of ice cream or that second (or sometimes third) slice of cake. Don't deprive yourself - Just remember to do it in moderation. Enjoy every moment in life - the exercise AND all of those yummy treats.

A little odd, don’t you think?

2010-05-24T12:33:00.001-07:00

This morning I woke up to a blanket of snow. Typically, this is really exciting because I love the snow. In the last week of May though, things are a little different. I’m ready for sunshine and summertime.

While I was getting ready this morning, I decided to listen to Josh Groban. With five albums (one being Christmas), I decided to just turn it on to shuffle. When I do this, I always run the risk of an occasional Christmas song coming up in the mix. However, this has only ever happened once – maybe I’m just lucky. Today was different. After the original song that I turned on, every song after that was a Christmas song! I switched to Michael Buble (8 albums and only 4 Christmas songs) and the same thing happened! How does that even happen?

Great new singer!

2010-05-10T07:55:00.001-07:00

Caro Emerald is a hot new jazz singer from Amsterdam. Her first album debuted last summer and is "a mix of 1950's inspired ballroom jazz, cinematic tangoes, groovin' jazz tracks, infectious mambo's and banging beats." Her accent, or lack thereof, is perfect. What a shock - I never would've guessed that she's not American! Most importantly, her voice is incredible!!

Enough talk - check out a couple of her songs and see for yourself!

Needless to say, she's my new favorite artist! (Thanks for introducing me to such a great singer Liesl!)

Happy Mother's Day!

2010-05-09T15:06:00.008-07:00

I wanted to take just a minute to recognize two of the greatest mothers in my life: my mom and Debbie - my "mother-in-love."

My mom is an incredible woman and has been a wonderful inspiration to me in so many ways. I think service is one of the most important life lessons that she's taught me. She is so kind and loving and always looking for ways to help people. I can't begin to count the number of times she's gone out of her way to do something nice for someone that needs it, even if that just means being a listening ear for someone needing a friend. It's not that she has nothing better to do, or tons of free time on her hands - I can't think of anyone busier than my mom either - it's because she loves the Lord and is doing her best to take care of His children.

Growing up, I remember hearing people joking about the infamous "Mother-in-law". I never experienced this because my parents and grandparents all get along really well. My mom always told me that when I got married it was so important that I got along with his mother. That became one of the crucial things I looked for in the guys that I dated - we both needed to get along with each others' parents, especially our mothers.

Even with that as a priority, I never could have dreamed that I would get along so well with my mother-in-law, or love her so much. Debbie is another incredible woman and I am so grateful that she's a part of my life. Something that I've noticed and I really admire is her ability to be optimistic and upbeat about everything. Its seriously superhuman! While I try to be optimistic, there are definitely things that get me down or cause stress. I've never seen anything affect Debbie, and that is a quality that I would love to have. - Maybe she'll rub off on me more while we're staying with her during Law School. :)

Unfortunately, I don't really have any pictures that I would be "allowed" to share of my mom or Debbie, otherwise I'd post some.
(Note to self - take some more pictures!)

In lieu of those pictures, I wanted to share the chorus to a song,
"That Wonderful Mother of Mine."

"You are a wonderful mother,
Dear old Mother of mine.
You'll hold a spot down deep in my heart,
'Till the stars no longer shine.
Your soul shall live on forever,
On through the fields of time.
For there'll never be another to me,
Like that wonderful Mother of mine."

I love you Mom!

Life Lessons from Mother

2010-05-06T15:44:00.012-07:00

I've taken a lot of classes recently where the main focus is on the home. We talked a lot about the kind of environment we grew up in, what our families were like, how we were taught, as well as learning good ways to do things. I really struggled while writing a paper on methods our parents used to teach us, and this concerned me. I've always felt that my parents taught me very well, but when asked to clarify how they did it, I was stumped. I felt like I "just knew" things and had a hard time figuring out how it was that I had been taught them.

Today in my Human Development class we watched three videos of childbirth; graphic videos that were not for the faint of heart... or stomach. My professor even gave us the option to leave the room while he was showing the videos! But I digress. As we watched the three mothers giving birth to their babies, I realized how incredibly blessed and lucky I am.

My mom taught me so many things and helped prepare me for life in what I feel was a pretty amazing way. I was there when my sister and my two brothers were born. I got to watch the whole, incredible thing. Watching those videos reminded me of those experiences and finally answered my question. My mom taught about life by letting us experience it! The reason I sometimes feel like I didn't "learn" things (in a traditional sense), but rather just "knew" them was because I had been there! I had seen it, touched it, experienced it! The reason I now feel so prepared for life is because it's not such a big unknown! While it's still scary to go out and do it by myself, I have an idea of what it is, so I'm not walking blindly into the dark. I have my mother's lessons to guide me. Thanks Mom!

Lowered Expectations... DENIED!!

2010-04-30T13:41:00.005-07:00

This is a somewhat unorthodox move on my part in regards to what my experience has been with the world of "blogging" and posting and what have you, but I am posting this blog post, post-haste. The world of blogging has always been a female pastime and my sister, sisters-in-law and wife are all avid in their blog-nicity which perpetuates the misogynistic feeling I have towards the "web log." Why, you ask, am I willing to brave what I perceive as a cross-dress into my wife's world of online writing frenzies? Simple, I feel the need. The need for what, you ask? The need to sing out from my digital mountain top and let the world know of my happiness. What happiness, you ask (why are you asking so many questions)? The reason for my new-found joyousness is simple, but so very profound and empowering for me, personally. In summary, I am not a waste of space.

Before you laugh and think I'm funny, weird or silly, you should know that I am serious. While growing up I have dealt with a little complex I like to call, inferiority. I hate the fact that every accomplishment in my life has been bookended by feelings of being too stupid or inadequate for even thinking about trying to reach beyond me. So naturally, when I heard that I had been accepted to law school at the University of San Francisco School of Law, I was excited and relieved and so confident in myself. Now, as the initial "honeymoon" phase begins to wear off and I begin to feel inklings of inadequacy, I write this post to say that I refuse to go through it again.

I must be positive about my accomplishments from here on out. Which is why, with no remorse or exaggeration I say this: I am so awesome! I really rock, like, a lot! I love who I am and what I have become so far. I am in a great place, with my favorite person by my side (smoochy smoochy, honey :). I will do well in law school and prove myself again and again. And when I become a successful lawyer, I will not be surprised but reassured that I am a successful person.

Booya!!

One Year!

2010-04-26T19:53:00.010-07:00

I can't believe it's already been a whole year since our wedding! Ben planned a wonderful week vacation for us down in Southern California, spending some time with Greg and Darlene and Seth, Becca, Hannah and Josh. We had a blast shopping, exploring and just relaxing. He also surprised me with a wonderful Italian dinner Saturday night and a hotel all to ourselves for our anniversary!

I have to admit that I was suspicious, but I definitely wasn't sure, so the hotel was a great surprise, and he tried so hard to keep it a secret from me. Isn't he great? :)
Looking back over this past year, we've moved back and forth across the country and met our quota for road trips for the next 5 years! We've already managed to live in 3 states (Utah, Ohio, and California), not to mention all the ones we've visited, especially on our trip out to Ohio! We've also had quite a bit of adventure, especially with Ben's accident. To say the least, it's sure been one exciting year!
Ben makes me happier than I could have imagined and I'm thankful every day that I married him. Here's to the first year, honey! I can't wait for the rest!

Something to watch while you're waiting for my next post and I'm taking finals...

2010-04-15T21:35:00.001-07:00

Marriage and Parenting - Part 1

2010-03-31T07:14:00.034-07:00

This semester I'm taking a class entitled "Home and Family Living." To some people this seems a little odd - like I'm taking a class on how to be a housewife. On the contrary, in the discipline of Social Sciences, there have been somewhat recent studies showing the impact of different aspects of the home on family life. It's truly a fascinating class and my professor is amazing!

Anyway, we had a great lesson the other day on Marriage and Parenting that I just had to share. So as not to get too long, I'll post it in two parts. :)

In a quote by Gary Morson, the idea of a prosaic marriage is given form:

"Prosaic thinkers tend to be debunkers. They are hostile to the ideology of romantic love, which regards ordinary marriage as uninteresting and great passion as real life. That classic twentieth-century criticism, Rougement’s Love in the Western World contends that Eros and romantic passion render impossible the truest and most important kind of love, family love. One cannot marry Iseult (Mrs. Tristan?), nor can one imagine Romeo and Juliet routinely sitting down to breakfast. Romantic love comes complete with an ideology of transcendence and desire, and a utopian contempt for prosaic marriage, which it finds hopelessly boring and middle-class. But in fact “to love in the sense of passion-love is the contrary of to live.” Marriage cannot be based on passion, because marital love and romantic love are as contradictory as prose and poetry."

Now, don't take this the wrong way - it's not saying that marriage should be without romance. The idea is that marriage and real, true love, is not that thing that Hollywood portrays in it's countless 'chick-flicks.' That feeling you get when you watch Pride and Prejudice - you know the one: where you're wishing Mr. Darcy would come sweep you off your feet... is not what real love is! I'll admit, I do love a good chick-flick. However, when it's all over I also find myself wishing my life was more exciting, or that my husband would be more like the impossible character portrayed in the the movie, when in reality I have the most wonderful, loving husband I could dream of.

In class we discussed three principles of a strong and happy marriage. Let me just say that I was surprised by them! I'm sure we've all heard countless "tips and tricks for a good marriage," and I'm sure a lot of them are really good, but these are so simple and so true that I just love them!

Principle #1: Build Friendship

How great is that?! Build friendship! It's so basic! :) John Gottman said, “The simple truth is that happy marriages are based on a deep friendship. By this I mean a mutual respect for and enjoyment of each other’s company…When she orders him a salad, she knows to ask for the dressing on the side. If she works late, he’ll tape her favorite TV show because he knows which one it is and when it’s on…Without such a love map, you can’t really know your spouse…”

One thing to remember though, is that a marriage is a process, not an event and to truly build a solid friendship and in turn, a lasting relationship, it takes a great deal of patience, selflessness, and generosity.

Principle #2: Share in the Housework of the Home

What wife out there doesn't love this one? :) All joking aside, marriages are strengthened every time husbands and wives value each other during the “grind of everyday life.” This doesn't mean splitting up everything exactly equally and then getting upset when he isn't pulling his weight." Instead, do things together! Do the dishes together, with one of you washing and the other drying and putting away, or go grocery shopping together! "Romance actually grows when couples are in a supermarket and the wife says, ‘Are we out of bleach?’ and the husband says, ‘I don’t know. Let me go get some just in case,’ instead of shrugging apathetically.”
Life is not the big events that are few and far between, but rather all of the little "mundane" things you do everyday. In all of your talk of grand hopes and dreams and plans, make a little time to talk (and re-talk) about groceries, dust, and runny noses.

Principle #3): Nurture sexual intimacy that fits our real, prosaic lives

This goes back to that first quote that I mentioned. The world has created a pervasive myth, that sexual intimacy must be a romantic escape from life. It must take us, and take place, outside our real lives into a place with unlimited time, energy, and novelty.

Really though, who wants sex to be a stage-like performance; the whole purpose of a special evening? I can't think of a single woman who wants to feel like they have to live up to the steamy portrayals of sex in the media, and if they don't there's something wrong with them... and I'm willing to bet that men are the same way.

Instead, marital intimacy should be "robustly domestic and household sexuality, embedded in and transformed by daily married life..." Or in other words, we should be putting the emphasis on sex as a loving experience that fits comfortably into our homes and into the temporal rhythms of our daily lives. We have to "reclaim" intimacy from the Hollywood culture and place it squarely back into the home, within the walls of ordinary time.

Marriage really is so wonderful. You could read reasons why marriage is good for you all day, but just being married isn't all there is to it. It takes work on both sides. But you know, I can't think of anything else to which I would rather dedicate my time.

"The power of permanent male-female love is one of the strongest forces in human kind’s experience. Marriage has remarkable power…Something unique to married love gives us motivation and strength, as our urge to lift the person we love helps us to face conflict and to overcome our own weakness….Every noble impulse, every unselfish expression of love, every brave suffering for the right; every surrender of self to something higher than self; every loyalty
There is some kind of paradox, something about finding ourselves by losing ourselves, in the way genuine married love demands everything of us—even as it simultaneously brings fulfillment."

Catch up...

2010-03-19T19:44:00.023-07:00

Ok... so I guess it's about time that I update this blog. The question is, where do I start?

This semester is flying by and there's only about a month until finals! That means I'm this much closer to graduation (hopefully in August), but I'm not quite sure I'm ready for finals yet. So, other than school, homework and grading papers, here's a little bit of what we've been up to lately.

Wednesday night was super busy, with class until 6:30 and then watching "Glory" for my American Heritage class at 7:30, so I didn't have much time to make my traditional St. Patrick's Day dinner. I was a little bit disappointed, since I am pretty much in love with corned beef. However, Thursday worked perfectly and Ben cooked the Corned Beef in the crock pot and I pulled out my cookbook from Dublin and made the very best, authentic Soda Bread and Colcannon. Yum!

Since baking my birthday cake, Ben has sort of adopted the Carrot Cake and he made another one a couple weeks ago. It was delightful, and seeing these pictures is making me want another one.

Ben's really becoming a chef these days. Not only is he cooking more, he even created his own recipe for a barbecued beef... and it's really good. :) I guess that's just what happens when you marry someone who loves to cook as much as I do.

For these recipes, check out Cookie and Foodie, here and h ere.

On another note, Ben was in a pretty severe car accident about two weeks ago. He had a green light when a "16 year old redhead," as he puts it, failed to yield and turned left right in front of him. He turned into it at the last second and took the full force of the hit on the front left corner of the car. The car was totaled and he suffered 2nd degree burns on his hands as well as a messed up back and a small fracture on the edge of one of the vertebra in his neck. Thankfully, he's going to be fine. We were very lucky that the accident wasn't his fault and he was actually on the job when it happened and in a work van. That means that, if nothing else, Ben has paid leave from work as well as all of his medical expenses covered. Thank goodness!

This is approximately where the fracture is.

These are his burns, about a week after the accident. The left hand and wrist looked a lot worse and was all red (you can still kind of see the line) when it happened, but has healed quite well. I'll post some more pictures later to show how well it's healing.

2010-01-22T15:32:00.001-08:00

Just something for your viewing pleasure... :)

2010-01-06T08:47:00.004-08:00

A few of my summer projects: Living Room

2009-10-11T19:28:00.013-07:00

Before:

After:

**disclaimer: these photos don't do it justice - the color is not quite right. :(

A few of my summer projects: Guest Bedroom

2009-10-11T19:00:00.008-07:00

So, while Ben and I were staying with his parents in California over the summer, I got to do a little bit of remodeling. It was great fun, and I think things turned out pretty well! :)

Before:

After:

Another reason I have the bestest husband ever

2009-09-12T12:15:00.021-07:00

OK, I know its rather late to post about my birthday, but I wanted to share what an amazingly wonderful husband I have. Ben took me to the beach for a nice family picnic, complete with sand-dune-jumping and watching the sunset.

This was followed by... Carrot Cake!!! :) My all-time favorite cake in the entire world is carrot cake. Sure, I enjoy making (and eating) all sorts of other cakes - I think the most popular thus far is the Chocolate Peanut Butter Cake - but I just can't get enough of a good carrot cake. And guess what? Ben helped me try out a new recipe and made me a carrot cake from scratch, all by himself! What a sweetheart.

Back by popular demand...

2009-09-08T21:54:00.002-07:00

Here's a little bit of what we've been up to this summer. Don't worry - there's oh-so-much more to come!

Wedding Pictures

2009-06-04T18:48:00.004-07:00

I still find it hard to believe that I'm actually married, not to mention that I've been married for two weeks shy of two months! I'm sure other people experience this as well, but Ben and I can't help feeling sorry for other couples because there's NO WAY their marriage could ever come close to being as amazing as ours is already. Sure, we disagree sometimes, but I couldn't ask for a more wonderful and devoted husband. Not to mention the fact that he sure is handsome!

Here are a few of the pictures from the wedding!

We also recently got the link from our photographer for all of the wedding/reception pictures! Check it out!

Click here to see the wedding pictures!

http://www.pictage.com/622250

Just Married... or Married Justly

2009-05-01T10:46:00.002-07:00

So, we did it. We went through with it and got married even through all the stress and pain of finals, and the overwhelming adventure of my (Ben's) graduation. It was a hellish ordeal for both of us, breakdowns left and right, problems with cakes, with invitations, and of course with the groom :) The first reception in Provo was amazing and absolutely beautiful in decor and ambiance. Thousands of cream colored cranes hung from the ceiling by gossamer lines, seemingly flowing from one corner towards the place where my gorgeous wife and I stood greeting all our family and friends. Allyson was resplendent, impeccable in her flowing dress and elegant up-do. I really do love her with all my heart, the princess that she is, and a little bit of what I see when I look at her was demonstrated in the amazing decoration and opulance of the reception. We hope to see or hear from all of you because we love you. Pictures are to follow...

DANCING!!

2009-04-06T13:31:00.004-07:00

Yep, you read it right! Folks, don't forget your dancing shoes because at 8:20pm Ben and Allyson will share their first dance as a married couple! Immediately following will be an open dance floor so please come dance with us!

Allyson's Version

2009-03-02T17:13:00.003-08:00

Once upon a time, in a land far, far away......

Ok, I'll spare you that much and just send you over to my other post about how Ben and I met and got engaged. :D

Click here for details and pictures.

Ben's Version...

2009-03-02T17:02:00.004-08:00

Once upon a time, a boy named Nen Bielsen decided to go home to live with his parents over the summer in between semesters at school. He wasn’t a loser so don’t think that about him, he just… knew he needed to go home for the last time before he couldn’t anymore. What if that next semester he tripped on a rusty ice skate and cut himself while falling into a pile of sliced lemons (you know the kind that servers put in water)? Or, what if he got attacked and eaten by a stray wildebeest? If he hadn’t gone home and said goodbye, there could have been some real regrets. So in order to avoid irreconcilable regret, and wildebeests, he decided to go and “help” his parents at home. As soon as he was home, he soon realized that he was a loser, despite his best efforts to conquer his nerdiness. His days consisted of working, working out, eating, eating out, reading, reading out (loud to his cute nephew), and general lollygagging and frivolity to no higher purpose or reason. This antisocial humdrummery lasted about one month, until he could take it no longer. He decided to break the routine and be more outgoing; he went to a young married group social campout, yeah!! Talk about fun, little kids running and playing everywhere, married Sisters all over the place trying to hook you up with their cousins/sisters/nieces/friends/dogs/lizards/professional wrestlers/anything with legs. Needless to say, the next natural occurrence was for the president of the Sunday school to approach Nen and ask him to teach Gospel Doctrine class that Sunday because he was so spiritually charged. Ok, maybe not natural, but I needed some sort of transition for this crazy story.

So after spending way too much time on preparing a lesson that he strayed from anyway, Nen was feeling good about himself. He was going to church, reading his scriptures, saying his prayers, and beating up his little brother on a regular basis. It was no shock, of course, to then receive word from a very cool lady in the ward that she wanted to hook Nen up on a blind date with a very special girl, Callyson Acox. Can you believe the beauty of that name? Me either. Nen was excited and appreciative of this ward member’s generosity at helping out the poor defenseless, single man get a date that she knew he probably never could get because of his raunchy goatee. So after hearing about the great news, Ben filed away that gem of happiness and got back to his work and being all churchy and stuff.
Little did Nen know how different his life was going to turn out after meeting Callyson. Little did he know that his way of life was about to be flipped on its ear. Little did he know that his entire being was going to be irrevocably altered by this little beauty named Callyson. Little did… I think you get the point.

And so the day came for Nen and Callyson to meet. They did, and it went great except that Nen doesn’t know how to use cell phones, or his fingers, resulting in the loss of her number in an embarrassing escapade involving technologies beyond his understanding. It didn’t help either that her eyes made him forget where he was at times because they were so blue. Not to mention her beautiful smile that weakened his kness, making him grateful he was sitting down already. Or how about her kindly demeanor and cheerful countenance that made him feel so warm and comforted to the point that he felt like an old friend of hers. So he was a forgetful, weak-kneed, old friend at their first meeting, like an old man. I’m surprised he was even able to ask her out, he was so taken with her. But in the end, he asked her out on a date and proved he wasn’t gay, once and for all, that week. Let’s get to the date proper!

It was a cold winter day in August. Rain and snow populated the magical make-believe trees of the North Pole. Which doesn’t mean jack squat seeing as they were in California, baby!! The weather was perfect. The restaurant was perfect. Nen was lost in her perfection. The conversation never stopped, even when he made a fool of himself by eating way to fast. She ate her entire meal like a champ, unafraid, unlike some girls, to show her mortality and bodily needs. She impressed him every step of the way, and more and more caught him up in her womanly wiles. He was sprung! Even when after the date went completely wrong and they ended up just watching a movie at Nen’s house, Callyson made him fall more and more for her. The date lasted three days, like every good date should, and it was filled with restaurants, romantic movies, beaches, sand castles, sunsets, picnics, and chafing for Nen. Even the next day when she asked him to come and help her babysit, it was fantastically romantic. It was then, when Nen had one baby, and Callyson had the other, that he knew he was in trouble. He was in love. He was absolutely, resolutely, incomprehensibly in love. There was nothing he could do about it, when she looked him straight in the eye he couldn’t help but fall. She was like a crazy, hot love spider with love venom that had no cure.

…

Incredibly, eventually, one ellipsis later, (an ellipsis is used to indicate a passing of some unspecified amount of time, in this case, they are used to indicate a huge resolve of Nen and his desire to have her as his one and only love, and vice versa. Also, there was a funny occurrence involving a goat, a dragon, and a dog. A Lamborghini, a kilt, and a wallaby named Diego the Brave, not the father but his son with the same name. Ask me for details later…if you dare!) Callyson finally fell for Nen in the same way that he had for her so long ago. In fact, they decided to get married mostly so they didn’t have to say good bye every single stupid night (I think there might be other reasons as well, but face it, that’s the most important one). She absolutely loved him, faults and all, and made him feel like the most confident and amazing man in the world. She changed him into a real man, her love was responsible for everything that she loved in him. It’s a concept hard for most to understand, but since I’m… I mean, since Nen is so smart and sexy and cool, its easy for him to understand that he’s all of those things due to Callyson. In reality, Callyson is all of those things and more, and Nen is just a shadow, or an echo of her virtues. In any case, Nen was ecstatic to have such a wonderful wife and future mother and role model for his children. He knew that he couldn’t have possibly done better for himself. Callyson was his One and Only true love in mortality and beyond.